Thank God for His protection. Which comes in ways we never see coming! (the same goes for lessons He wants to teach us, it seems to me) Just as much as physical protection is needed in a world like today's, protection of the heart is just as necessary. How neccessary to build a strong fortress around it to keep it safe, or people can use you for their own purposes. For purposes I've not conceived of, nor expected could occur in such close proximity. It is really the close shaves that we praise God ever more!
I've long thought about the difference between naivety and innocence. And one such definition is this: that innocence is the decision to remain pure, devoid of evil, while naivety lacks such a choice, one is merely immersed in ignorance. Perhaps everyone starts off naive, and then has a choice whether to progress on to innocence. Or lose it.
I met this lady at the entrance of my block two days ago, who reminded me of why we should continue loving, even though things are dark. I wonder where such people get the strength to remain open, so seemingly vulnerable to hurt; I begin to wonder if that was an angel. She reminded me by her openess in speaking to me, beautifully thanking me when I opened the door for her, introducing herself, asking about me, and her "God bless". Her presence, I feel, must indeed be a blessing to people around her.
To the woolly sheep, of course I'll be a good girl! *wink* hope work IS making you lose weight (haha)
Reading about Satan in Milton's Paradise Lost. I didn't know he was anti-Catholic! I think I just changed my mind about studying him for exams. George Herbert and John Donne seem a better pick now. one MIGHT call me biased. (",)
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Saturday, November 20, 2004
it 3.43 am. sleeping at weird times. Saw the Star Wars Episode 3: The Revenge of the Sith trailer today while catching Bridget Jones Diary 2 at the cinema today with ShiHui *grinz* May 2005!
C major - the simplest key. You are content with
where you are now, you have what you need. Some
people are happy in C major, but it is up to
you to decide to push yourself further if you
want more from your life.
what key signature are you?
brought to you by
C major - the simplest key. You are content with
where you are now, you have what you need. Some
people are happy in C major, but it is up to
you to decide to push yourself further if you
want more from your life.
what key signature are you?
brought to you by
Just had a wonderful seminar! yes, a feel-good lesson in university! How is that possible? well, it was my Renaissance Poetry seminar with Dr Rosselyn today, and it was my turn to give a presentation, which I did on George Herbert's poem Redemption. Which sparked off a debate on the existence of religion, its purpose, its actuality. One by one, as the seminar wore on, my seminar mates admitted they were Christian, or had attended a Catholic school, though some remain 'stonch' Atheists; at least we had a good talk about God and saving grace, and I hope it was a spring board for some into thinking deeper about life and our God.
I guess some part in everyone bothers what other people think about 'me'. It is a matter of extent. How I look in this outfit, what they thought when I said that, what they see of me when I hang out with this crowd. Aren't they useless thoughts? At the end of the day, we can't control what they think, true or untrue, and neither can it make a difference to the way we are. Of course, one should graciously accept constructive criticism i.e. based on what is right and moral, and change for the better. But otherwise, sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. My grandfather used to repeat this when I was young, and all the way while I was growing up. I never believed him, never thought it was true, because I felt words could hurt much more than any physical thing! especially when the words issue from a loved one. And that doesn't change. But otherwise (and for the famous phrase to come in effect) personal power of the mind and heart must be present. Anger and hurt is not a natural conseqence to words that come from 'others' (society at large) as opposed to common belief, thus we can actually exercise such power to withstand non-sense verbal attacks.
I guess some part in everyone bothers what other people think about 'me'. It is a matter of extent. How I look in this outfit, what they thought when I said that, what they see of me when I hang out with this crowd. Aren't they useless thoughts? At the end of the day, we can't control what they think, true or untrue, and neither can it make a difference to the way we are. Of course, one should graciously accept constructive criticism i.e. based on what is right and moral, and change for the better. But otherwise, sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. My grandfather used to repeat this when I was young, and all the way while I was growing up. I never believed him, never thought it was true, because I felt words could hurt much more than any physical thing! especially when the words issue from a loved one. And that doesn't change. But otherwise (and for the famous phrase to come in effect) personal power of the mind and heart must be present. Anger and hurt is not a natural conseqence to words that come from 'others' (society at large) as opposed to common belief, thus we can actually exercise such power to withstand non-sense verbal attacks.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Bonfire Nite
After a nite of playing fireworks! this was 2 weeks ago, on a Wednesday nite, just before official Bonfire nite. Singaporeans peppered with frens from around the world.
ow
I'm writing so much on my blog because my head feels like the concrete pavement on 6th Avenue: everyone walking on it. Definately not one of those golden-crusted Hollywood handprint tablets of famous stars. People bother to stop for those. Anyway, today has less to do with people (even tho I did have a 369 illegal gathering in which I got people in form for the next the-gang-to-show-off-how-powerful-we-are-and-rule-Geylang showdown.and after that my head hurt so much I slept, and am stil in want of sleep), and more of I'm-not-in-the-mood-to-write-up-about-Geroge-Herbert-even-though-he-does-great-metaphysical-poems. Did, rather.
lowdown on netball
nope (in response to a long distance wish *grinz*), there wasn't dinner here to celebrate Hari Raya, cos it fell on Saturday the 13th and we attended Nottingham Games, the annual sports meet of Singapore Societies held in Uni of Notts.
This year us girls played netball! I was a WA for a game and GA for another, and it was a great bonding time (dun ask about scores, U noe wat i mean!). And Jireh (VJ) was there! From Warwick Uni. And Germaine (IJ TP prefectz) too! Din see Renu (IJ TP prefectz), she couldn't make it; she just got elected Durham's Singapore Society Treasurer (",) Daphy (VJ) couldn't come too. It was this time last year when I bumped into Gladys (VJ) (but din see her this year).
To us, the netball team for this year's Notts games from Leicester! Debra (cap't), Amal, Jing Yi, Ting, Gerrie, ShiHui, ZiHui, Nai Wan (superb), and I. (note: 4 out of this 9 from IJ TP)
This year us girls played netball! I was a WA for a game and GA for another, and it was a great bonding time (dun ask about scores, U noe wat i mean!). And Jireh (VJ) was there! From Warwick Uni. And Germaine (IJ TP prefectz) too! Din see Renu (IJ TP prefectz), she couldn't make it; she just got elected Durham's Singapore Society Treasurer (",) Daphy (VJ) couldn't come too. It was this time last year when I bumped into Gladys (VJ) (but din see her this year).
To us, the netball team for this year's Notts games from Leicester! Debra (cap't), Amal, Jing Yi, Ting, Gerrie, ShiHui, ZiHui, Nai Wan (superb), and I. (note: 4 out of this 9 from IJ TP)
24/7
its one of those days where you look for a diving board to start your day off, rub your hands, do a lil' dance on the spot to warm up in that swimsuit, prep yourself as you ascend, tentatively step on the board, judges eyeing your every move.
You jump.
And for some reason the janitor foget to fill the pool up with water yesterday.
Eek. That's rather morbid. If you think about it in terms of what could happen if it really occured in reality. But notice, I did not add that in.
What actually happened was this.
I was warming up my hands, doing a lil' dance to warm up, ready to ascend to the board. Then someone rushes up to me and informs me that I have duties yet to carry out, responsibilities to take on, and I cannot do this jump. I get upset, irritated, wondering why we must take on the burdens of others, frustrated that I cannot put what I want first. Then I walk away from the board, and fulfill them.
Albeit, still irritated, still upset. But never knowing that the pool was not filled, that it was not ready for the dive.
I don't call it coincidence, 'in the nick of time'. I see it as a Divine Lesson.
"Seek Ye First The Kingdom Of God,
And All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You." Matthew 6:3
http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty.htm
You jump.
And for some reason the janitor foget to fill the pool up with water yesterday.
Eek. That's rather morbid. If you think about it in terms of what could happen if it really occured in reality. But notice, I did not add that in.
What actually happened was this.
I was warming up my hands, doing a lil' dance to warm up, ready to ascend to the board. Then someone rushes up to me and informs me that I have duties yet to carry out, responsibilities to take on, and I cannot do this jump. I get upset, irritated, wondering why we must take on the burdens of others, frustrated that I cannot put what I want first. Then I walk away from the board, and fulfill them.
Albeit, still irritated, still upset. But never knowing that the pool was not filled, that it was not ready for the dive.
I don't call it coincidence, 'in the nick of time'. I see it as a Divine Lesson.
"Seek Ye First The Kingdom Of God,
And All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You." Matthew 6:3
http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty.htm
Monday, November 15, 2004
I think I have Obsessive Complusive Disorder. Ususally it is attributed to the excessive necessity (apparently inherent) for cleanliness, or the overiding fear of dark places, or fear once outside of one's personal confines.
For me, its the worry that I have forgotten to do something.
And what weighs it down is the bigger worry that I will be held responsible for it.
As such, I've checked my email accounts (with a capital 'S', even the most obsolete one I opened when I was about 12 years old) about a gazillion times today just to make sure I've not forgotten anyone I've not email to.
Is it OCD or wat?
I'm hoping its just today.
As a result, the worry is giving me a terrible ache in my stomach, like little critters knawing at my insides (as opposed to butterflies; those who know me know I detest just as much!), its 9pm and I'm wanting dinner, and I've got a Old English "mini test tomorrow, please parse lines 15-66 of 'The Wanderer'". oh no I'm not complaining for the want of pity. self-pity? nah. I hereby praise God for His strength in me to keep me going! or else I'd be having baby Eoraptors in me. or worse, the aliens from Stephen King's Dreamcatcher!
=)
For me, its the worry that I have forgotten to do something.
And what weighs it down is the bigger worry that I will be held responsible for it.
As such, I've checked my email accounts (with a capital 'S', even the most obsolete one I opened when I was about 12 years old) about a gazillion times today just to make sure I've not forgotten anyone I've not email to.
Is it OCD or wat?
I'm hoping its just today.
As a result, the worry is giving me a terrible ache in my stomach, like little critters knawing at my insides (as opposed to butterflies; those who know me know I detest just as much!), its 9pm and I'm wanting dinner, and I've got a Old English "mini test tomorrow, please parse lines 15-66 of 'The Wanderer'". oh no I'm not complaining for the want of pity. self-pity? nah. I hereby praise God for His strength in me to keep me going! or else I'd be having baby Eoraptors in me. or worse, the aliens from Stephen King's Dreamcatcher!
=)
Thursday, November 11, 2004
My Perogative
I made baked pasta today! Albeit a bit salty, but I put in tuna, crabsticks, mushrooms, poured in pasta-bake sauce, topped it off with cheese (its never enuff), and popped it in the oven! hee I think it was a serving for two, and I ate like 3/5 of it...hee. Nick ate the other 2/5. That was for dinner.
Its now 3.44 am and I'm eating blueberry muffin from ASDA, the equivalent of Carrefour. I tell u, its the stress. haha =) *excuses excuses* Have been up printing for 369...figured out how to use PhotoStudio! =) whew...I'm no computer expert man.
Its now past 4am, (time delay in between, put on a pic of one of my four walls) and I'm not seeing words properly already; but stubborn me refuses to sleep. Don't ask me why, I'm too tired to think. hee. maybe it's cos I want to find out more about my friends, and have been going from blog to blog.
On the flip side of obvious narcissism (tongue-in-cheek, duh), blogs can help shrink the world.
It's getting so cold...my hands are getting numb and I'm in my room wearing a sweater. crazy Brit. been below 10 deg these few days/nights.brrr
Its now 3.44 am and I'm eating blueberry muffin from ASDA, the equivalent of Carrefour. I tell u, its the stress. haha =) *excuses excuses* Have been up printing for 369...figured out how to use PhotoStudio! =) whew...I'm no computer expert man.
Its now past 4am, (time delay in between, put on a pic of one of my four walls) and I'm not seeing words properly already; but stubborn me refuses to sleep. Don't ask me why, I'm too tired to think. hee. maybe it's cos I want to find out more about my friends, and have been going from blog to blog.
On the flip side of obvious narcissism (tongue-in-cheek, duh), blogs can help shrink the world.
It's getting so cold...my hands are getting numb and I'm in my room wearing a sweater. crazy Brit. been below 10 deg these few days/nights.brrr
Monday, November 08, 2004
TKM
I don't think people can/should comment unless they know exactly what's going on. PROBLEM IS, the other party always thinks he does but he doesn't. Not the other side of the argument, not the problems gone through to get to that point, not the trouble taken to arrive wherever, not how you actually feel about it. And maybe know, yes, with the head, but not the heart.
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
ANGER.
1...2...3...4...breathe
count up when u cool down, count down when u blow up.
5...4...3...2...1...ignition!
when can we stop counting? and will we want to when its near our time then?
then I remember how forgiveness is a continuous process, and try to let go.
Anger will drain your energy, energy you can spend playing a favourite sport, reading your favourite book, spending time with your family, giving a helping hand. Anger blocks out the truth, that you aren't totally made up of insecurities and self-hurt and anxieties, that you have the strength within yourself to reach out to others. and the strength to let go of those who havn't yet reached their time.
"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
ANGER.
1...2...3...4...breathe
count up when u cool down, count down when u blow up.
5...4...3...2...1...ignition!
when can we stop counting? and will we want to when its near our time then?
then I remember how forgiveness is a continuous process, and try to let go.
Anger will drain your energy, energy you can spend playing a favourite sport, reading your favourite book, spending time with your family, giving a helping hand. Anger blocks out the truth, that you aren't totally made up of insecurities and self-hurt and anxieties, that you have the strength within yourself to reach out to others. and the strength to let go of those who havn't yet reached their time.
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