An excerpt from "Breaking Under Water": Spirituality and the 12 Steps

Why do many languages use the word spirit to describe liquor? What if, next time I have Mass with you, when I hold up the chalice I say : "Liquor of Christ"? Would'nt that shock you all? Isn't it strange that the very thing that has caused so much pain in some of your lives, alcohol, would be the very thing that we use for the sacrament? Is it mere irony or co-incidence - or providence? The blood of Christ, the wine of Christ, the liquor of Christ.

The place of the wound is the place of the healing. The place of the break is the place of the greatest strength. That's why Jesus himself, even in His resurrected body, reappears with the wounds still in His hands, in His side, in His feet. They do not disappear as you might expect.

What's the problem for Thomas? He can't deal with the wounds. Jesus tells him: Put your finger in. Deal with pain. Deal with the fact that I'm still broken.

No, You're resurrected, You're not supposed to have a hole in Your side, says Thomas.

"Thomas, put your finger in My hands. Put it in My side. Now believe" (John 20:27). I don't think you can begin to believe until you put your finger in your own wounds, the wounds of one another and the wounds of Christ.

Metamorphosis of narcissus - Salvador Dali 

Five Deaths Eleven Times in Orange 

yum

speaking about orange,
Orange White Chocolate Ben's Cookies rock!
(whoever Ben is)

beyond the pleasure principle

I prefer answering questions on 'how scary are you?' hosted by blogthings rather than answer my assessed question on freud and repetition. how bimbotic. And just like I expected, I'm not scary enuff. HOW?? I will not be able to bark orders to move mountains, roar to express my frustration, explode chaotic creativity.

I'll merely implode like Mr Stevens. Just watched 'The Remains of the Day' by Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson, they are good! charismatic dormant volcanoes, subtle body language. And so Anthony Hopkins is Mr Stevens, the emotionally and sexually repressed butler to Lord Darlington and equal to Emma the housekeeper. A film about 20th century Britain just pre-WWII, aristocrats with huge villas and even more sprawling lawns, their political ambitions (and failures) coupled with the strict hierarchy within their households which maintains the pyramidal structure of authority and order, yet suppresses (or represses) any 'human-ness' of those at the bottom.

Watching the documentary on it is much more satisfying than watching the ending, not at all because it was an emotional let-down; it was the exact opposite! intensely static would be what I'd call the unexpected ending, which was probably what gave the film its 8 Academy Award nominations. "still waters run deep" given a whole new meaning.

now i've just done another 'quiz' that begs the answer "what gender is your brain"

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

WhatGender Is Your Brain?


if there ever was a more sexist 'answer' informed by the bias of patriarchal society!

in orange

I have to remember: where we're meant to be. although when u're stuck waist-high in ( ohh I'd better not say) its tough to think it. but what would faith mean if it does not wager a test. without value, that's what it would be.there are those who ask: how do you know its a test? it could just be pure malicious random fate that dictates circumstances.

if it was just that, there would be no peace in which you know beyond a measure of doubt you're standing rite where a higher power wants you. joy, great joy even in the midst of waist-high-i'd-better-not-say. the light at the end of the tunnel. no, in the tunnel.

ancrene wisse

gosh. I've got to finish Rasselas. on one hand I can identify with the imagination-is-a-flight-of-fatal-fantasy theory and believe that isolation ain't too good for the 'ol soul 'if ya know wat i mean'; on the other hand it means no more day-dreams, no more visionary ideals, not even aspirations? where's the hope then? therefore Rasselas (thanks to JJ who has now given me the ending) has no satisfactory conclusion: (and I'm going to do just what JJ did) the whole jing-gang end up unhappy back in happy valley. sounds cheesy, but note: its written by esteemed Samuel.

It seems the Real has been hitting me the past week. as opposed to reality, the Symbolic. trauma ensues (watch Hide and Seek, you'll see what I mean) and then neurosis (which includes my favourite: repetition), I wonder if talking to yourself is that, or psychosis.

talking cure, chocolate cure, Dad, Mum, Matt, Mun, Jen, Jon, Jesus. (in no order of preference)