recipe

3 small potatoes, 1 carrot, 1 bittergourd, 1 green apple. Blend.

thick skin grow thick skin grow

Dis little finger

Disappointment. Perhaps this is more difficult than forgiving an offender: forgiving yourself. This time, there is no clear way to vent your anger, no clear reason why you should forgive, no clear explanation to give others.

Then Dad told me that during the second expedition of sg's team to Mt. Everest the man who made it to the top the first time made the second trip too, this time without an oxygen tank. 500 metres from the top he was forced to turn back.

Sometimes, there are more important things than the goals you have in mind. There is the issuing of living.

Today Mum sent me an article that she found meaningful. And in it's midst, about the Wedding at Cana:

Jesus provided 120 gallons of new wine for the wedding celebration. That is plenty of wine. He filled up all available resources; this wine would not run out. When Jesus provides His blessings they are meant to last. After you go through a 'no-wine' situation, you can appreciate the quality and the power of His blessings. That's another bonus of saving the best for last-you appreciate what God is giving you because you know about disappointment and loneliness. You know about despair. So you know how wonderful it is to be saved by Him.

The last two lines say it all.

I believe there is more, and though it may not come in a form that I recognise as 'good', it is.

The Little Prince

'The men where you live,' said the little prince, 'raise five thousand roses in the same garden- and they do not find in it what they are looking for.'
'They do not find it,' I replied.
'And yet what they are looking for could be found in one singe rose, or in a little water.'
'Yes, that is true,' I said.
And the little prince added:

'But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart...'
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It's raining now. Pouring, actually. A thunderstorm. Cool, fresh air, finally, after a week of sweaty stuff days.

A mug of hot vanilla tea. Soft music in the background, one which reminds me of better things.

Of better things than losing.

Then the rhythm of the rain blends with the music, to perform an orchestral encore...

I have not lost then. I didn't have it in the first place.

A bright flash; soon after, the sky cackles like the wicked witch of the west.

I looked. I know I did, long and hard. For the goal the goal the goal my precious. Reaching out to grasp, struggling to reach, then grabbing...

...thin air. So I think it must have been possibly impossible, or impossibly possible. A mirage, then.

A mirage of five thousand roses within reach, in my garden, soon to be in hand, to satisfy, to beautify my home, to show off to neighbours.

I can't bear the thought, and close my eyes. Then as the pour turns to a trickle, as the cackling ceases, as silence takes it's seat, I pray, with all my heart, for a single real rose.

ask

ask: how much is enough?

enough to make one full

enough to 'be happy'

enough to rejoyce

enough for me

enough

enuff

nuff

U

and when you're down in the mire, he whispers in your ear....'I will never let you go'

suddenly, the mire is gone. There is only him and I.

The only person who could ever mean those words.

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yummy! cold yoghurt and banana on a hot 30 Degrees (yes, Celsius!) day

no, I'm not back in sg. It just is here. *fan fan*

what an amazing lesson. today, girls, we'll be talking about the 3-letter word which appears in all romance books, tabloid magazines and The Sun. (I hope they cannot sue for defamation when I speak the facts) As one teacher put it, it's one way to get the class listening. Didn't you too when your Science teacher got to Chapter 11 of the Sec. 2 textbook? Wonder which chapter it is now. Anyway, it wasn't a Science lesson or trashy talk. The Beggar Woman by William King did it.

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God is using him, the one who pained, to evangelise to others! a total stranger out of the blue, a message in the Word. How our Lord turns anything to good is simply amazing; what I found even more wonderful is how delighted I was to hear it. It speaks of the selfishness and blindness that was present in the pain, but, more importantly, of the freedom that comes with letting go.

suddenly, the mire is gone. There is only the Lord and I.

Remember the line of Atticus Finch

and so, as you draw closer to one, you will draw further from me

not because that one and I are at different ends of the spectrum, but precisely the opposite: you want us both to take up the same space. water willingly flows when truth is present, but friendship does not gain with deceit

a glass
placed on the surface of a wooden table. water fills up a space that was initially empty in the glass; at the same time the water is not the glass and cannot fill up the space the solid has.

and so
there is no longer an effort to turn the water into glass. there can no longer be water brimming over, no longer enough to make contact with the varnished wood, no longer flowing in that space.

part of it is void. bereft. the glass will be half full.

then reading the portion half empty, I come to understand, and thank God for it all. that which I might have been under, had you told the truth. how life wilts in the dark. how life dies when given stagnant water.

amazing. after the storm, the dark, the struggle, is peace. there is no longer the bitterness with words, no longer the attempt to suppress.
merely
simply
a glass half-full.
there it is.
on the table.
no shaking, no spilling, no more, no less. and even, the joy in knowledge of My Lord's care.

the other speaks of space. breathing space; and in me there is no sadistic laughter at other's pain, no futile wishing to be in the space, no jealous accusation that the space was mine (how childish the word 'mine'!)
no longer oh how much a blessing it is how long it has been the freedom is great acceptance and peace!

may you have the other half of the puzzle, for then the whole is clear. without it these words remain half-empty glasses.

swim

As I was walking to uni, to the library, to the com. lab (on the way to town; I'm not tat low-life) I realised how much I was running away. From reflection, from looking inward, from facing the truth and terrible terrible murk which one stirs up with a swirling branch when you look into the waters of your soul. Yet running away is no solution; people run for a while, some for years, some through their lifetime, and you can't stop running until you stop. and face it.

so I wondered how. how can one swim through the murk that gets stirred up as you're moving through the waters to get to the other side.

Then I remembered what my mum told me. Alone, one will get stuck in the quicksand of the interior: you see only the sins and darkness with no way out. But focus on Christ, and He will lead you through the darkness of the interior into the light.

And then, perhaps a little sign, or a coded message.
"The path to humility lies outside oneself"
Not running away, but looking inward with some outside help.

today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you

apt...You never miss a beat.

Today's Gospel:

'But I say this to you: anyone who is angry with his brother will answer for it before the court; if a man calls his brother "Fool: he will answer for it before the Sanhedrin; and if a man calls him "Renegade: he will answer for it in hell fire. So then, if you are bringing your offering to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, go and be reconciled with your brother first, and then come back and present your offering. Come to terms with your opponent in good time while you are still on the way to the court with him, or he may hand you over to the judge and the judge to the officer, and you will be thrown into prison. I tell you solemnly, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.'

Can I say 'please spare me from this one rule'? Can I say 'I can't do that, it's too tough'? Can I say 'after all he's done: a brother!'?

I guess I can, but I know it will be wrong to.

The truth hurts, but it will also set you free

outta space

a person cannot be in two places at one time.
neither can two people be in the same place at one time.
space. that's what seperates us.
physical, mental, intellectual: no lack of space.

and no one can fully know what makes the other person tick, laugh, jump, scream, cry, why they get up every morning like they do, why they talk like they do, exactly how they feel sad, angry, mad.

even when two people sit next to each other they are miles apart.
in the cinema, colours.
in the library, black on white.
in the cafe, smelling cocoa.
in the church, smelling incense.
sharing all these things, yet having different experiences.

and that makes me wonder...

arguing, hearing the words but not listening.
running away, going off but going nowhere.
breaking apart, perhaps time can mend.
breaking trust, old memories still prick.

out of place, out of touch.
it sunk and turned into some ridiculous pop. contest I want to have no part of. or maybe that was it's true nature the whole time.
but sunk none the less.

yummy

first, to SH: sorry I couldn't make it for the movie. we were at Flame til half nine, then spent more time taking (some crazy) photos in church...?!was it House of Wax in the end?

MH has just been made professor! and assigned to be my dissertation supervisor...cool. think I'm in shock tho.

the week's just flew by. first 1, then 2, tmr 3. well it's not for good yet. muahahaha

JFK, I just stole most of your food =) ok, all that would expire soon anyway. your house is like a warehouse now; I think 7 pple owe you storage-facility payment *grinz* we still owe somebody tons for scottieland!

getting frustrated with the fact that there are people whose actions are motivated by the desire to preen their CV! I mean, one volunteers because they want their future employers to think they are saints? And not because they really want to help others? How much work will they then put into the hours they clock; is it going to be a mere summation of the number of hours doing what is termed 'voluntary' while your heart only aims for how it will reflect on yourself? Building a CV may be part of it, and an additional benefit to what you are doing, but explore the primary reason and you'll see the basis for your life.

I've come to realise that those only interested in building CVs and popularity never really do the work; they just want to look like they're doing it, and try to get away at the soonest possible moment. Too judgemental? Well the fruits show the nature of the tree. Not that this is a realisation that has just occured, but seeing the reality makes me sick.

the gang on sunny sentosa beach recently 

finally! I've sent the email that signals the termination of further correspondence to that email, *keeping my fingers crossed* should no hitch occur, having had the transition take place. voila, finis! Ashes to ashes, dust to dust; decay and be not a skeleton in my closet. It has been tiring, but, how shall I phrase this? 'educational'

Just watched the Yoda-Sidious/Obi-Wan-Anakin duel of the fates a second time! perhaps the movies are a parody of reality....or maybe we act out reel-life. the worst thing might be, we'll debate to our death and never know who's right.

Execute Order 66

this is a great review: the author is hilarious
scroll down to where he begins to comment on the show....and enjoy...

another opinion, with a breakdown...

really like this one, it's insightful with a tinge of sarcasm...

an eloquent take...

dialouge style

a collection of yet more!

and some memorable comments:

"WTH? Firing lightning turns you ugly?"

'there's only so much one can do with a line like, "Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo." '

'So when does Revenge of the Sith really grab you? As the heroes of Ghostbusters might put it, it's when Lucas "crosses the streams." '

'I must go home and watch IV, V, and VI now so that I don't feel so down' (said by quite a no. of people in fact)

posted by president of the geek club (1 member: baby)

whoa... i find fans who even ask about the midicholorian count for Jar Jar Binks! (the answer is 5200, not bad; 7000 to be considered for a jedi position)

a question I had was why Mace Windu decided to take only 3 jedis with him when he confronted Palpatine, especially since he knew the latter was a sith; answer is a probable underestimation of Palpatine's powers, since most have always known him as an old and feeble Chancellor . Which is why Yoda warns Luke Skywalker not to underestimate the power of the sith in the classic trilogy

symbolic scene in Yoda-Sidious battle: fighting for the senate in the senate

Luke's midichlorian count is about half of his father's!

jedi and sith rankings

In the scene where Yoda is meditating (before Bail Organa enters and reports to him that Obi-Wan has arrived back from Mustafar with Padme), Yoda was communicating with Qui-Gon jinn! and they have a full conversation, according to a previous script! that's what Yoda was trying to tell Obi-Wan he'll learn in Tatooine. bet it's a deleted scene, wish it was in..

we din see Dagobah did we? where Yoda went into 'exile'; his landing in the script there is...

again again!

a match for the Sith.... 

I knew I couldn't go wrong when I chose my hero....

one of the two surviving jedis

undoubtedly the wisest in the Council

fastest on his feet

He knew they were coming, and beat them to it