The past month, there were

Beautiful mornings...

great days... 

lonesome noons... 

wonderful sunsets...

and creepy nights. 

I 

grew... 

my... 

flowers. 

Jen and I spent the time...

feeling chilly... 

getting terrible eye-bags.... 

chilling... 

and going totally insane.

dada

Last year, during one of our Chaucer seminars, while we were discussing the history of the church in the 14th century, the topic fell on Dan Brown's book (I don't even have to mention which one). My dearest tutor, who specializes in Old and Medieval literature (especially on Grail writings) said of it, "It's utter crap". whoa first time the uptight lady say crap ah

I guess she couldn't keep off the topic, and wrote an article a year later:
Demystifying the Da Vinci Code

Anyway, just watched The Da Vinci Code for 5 pounds (that's S$15). Royalties aside I went with 2 beautiful Austrian ladies who study lit. too and hence know the book is crap but think it's well written (controversies and action thrown in). I kinda wanted X-men 3 more (badly!) but they were hell-bent, oops, I mean seriously keen on watching ol' Da (and it was their last month in UK) so I relented.

Was actually quite good, and I liked the last part where...ok I won't say. I haven't read the book, so the movie was a good insight to what the whole hullabaloo was about. And of course, saying (and thinking) 'the Catholic Church is always right' (or always wrong) is never going to solve any problem for yourself or others if you choose to live in ignorance, so finding out more (I won't say 'facts', because that word has come under fire in the post-modern world) is pretty important.

On other fronts: man, time is a luxury. Met Dave today and he told me he has forgotten how to relax! Afterwards I spotted him round uni. leisurely walking. around. round. I always laugh talking to him. The first time we spoke in psychoanalysis seminar he told me he was from a town down south (named it), and I nodded my head off pretending I knew where that was. Then he asked suspiciously if I knew where and all I could do was grin, "er, no."

Katharina (one of the Austrian beauties) told me today she's a part-time instructor back home during the school holidays. At a ski resort, teaching skiing and snowboarding, earning 13 euros an hour. My mouth fell open. I told her we live on very flat land on the equator and humidty hits nearly 100%. This ticket attendent at the cinema tried to flirt with her as best as he could, "Screen 7 is on the left" and giving her eyes. We could only giggle at his originality.

After exams last Saturday, my friends and I stood outside the hall in grave shock and were still standing there after the whole cohort had cleared off. "Was that our last paper? For the rest of our lives?" I'm not sure I came to terms with it until Monday! In the end, most people wrote about Beckett (Angel, I wrote about Waiting for Godot in the end! wish I could have watched it like you did though) including myself - his plays are highly intense and on my list of favourite works.

Really proud of my bro., who got selected as one of two (having competed with those from RJ and HCJC) to attend a training camp as NASA, Texas, US. xiala...
And of Az the coach and the VJ soccer girls, who fought hard for their first cup and National Champion title!
And then, VJ choir emerged overall top choir in Italy and VJ band won a Gold at Hawaii (this one's for FF). As much as I'd hate to admit it, I wish I was back!

The strain of the past months is still fresh in my mind, so I know how tough it is for some of my friends who have yet to end. I am praying for them, esp. FF, JF, GS, CS, SH, JP, JY, JL(LB).

duchamp

Marcel Duchamp's Bicycle Wheel (1913). Today's question: is a bicycle wheel still a bicycle-wheel when the front wheel is taken of from the rest of the frame?






Has it not already lost it's (original/essential) purpose and hence cannot be called a bicycle wheel?

What is man if he does not follow his purpose? What is his purpose?

From Samuel Beckett's Endgame:
Hamm: Why don't you kill me?
Clov: I don't know the combination of the larder.
(Pause.)
Hamm: Go and get two bicycle-wheels.
Clov: There are no more bicycle-wheels.
When there were still bicycles I wept to have one. I crawled at your feet. You told me to get out to hell. Now there are none.



(Frances: sorry I've not elaborated about the Dali/Plato connection, was doing the essay and studying for exams...but the essay's finally completed and handed in! Will tell you more after this week i.e. after my exams)

I'm out of it, so so out of it.
I wanna fly away and never come back.

retort

AT THE SAME TIME one might question if the relationship (in Windstruck) was 'so wonderful' because it was short-lived. Where are the chores and bringing-up-baby and warts and sorts? Can 'love' really survive that? From howchamightcallydt -living- I tend to see that passion/mutual attraction is not enough, oppression and domination due to social ideology and patriarcal bias come into play, and when fools rush in all you get are foul-ups. or foul play (murdering partners; jealous spouses; long bottled-up psychological trama from domestic violence).

Know why K-dramas move women so? 'Cos they find in them princes that don't exist. (same goes for anime) I must admit I have fallen under the illusion. I'm not saying that gentlemen don't exist; they do. I'm saying that women are at fault too for being complicit with the heartaches they experience. Don't fall in love with love.

I watched Windstruck today. again.

It must have been some kind of meant to be when I couldn't catch it with dre, 'cos it made me end up buying the vcd.

I think...some people cry more at the movies as they get older. Because they've have been through more, seen more, felt more. And they understand. Understand what it means to lose, to hurt, to be at fault, to regret, to love.

I still feel it, that..hole. I don't think it will ever go away. But suddenly, I want to say, 'I want to believe again. Even though it's going to hurt when I lose, even though it's going to be rough in between. I want to believe again.'

awwwww

Fab-biang sent me a whole series of pictures, explaining why we should be appreciative of things, even those that seem terrible...I thought this was the cutest. maybe because the kid is some of us at this period of time...all the best to all those who are!

stop me before I do something rash.
like shave off my eyebrows

wow, it's so interesting looking back and realising what a ku-tu I once was, and how much I've learnt the past 3 years, about loss and betrayal and gossip and holding on and loving and giving it up (to God). Especially when you see others going through things where you mentally check off "that's my Stage 1 in the growth process of university life. welcome to Stage 2". I don't say that in a malicious way, because I know what it feels like and have done the same things; in fact, it is a little sad knowing what's coming next- not so much in what's going to happen, but what one learns. But knowing that it is necessary and part of pruning makes it worthwhile. Here's me wishing strength.

Just heard this song today, and it's....
a love song
a very touching love song

I Need You
By LeeAnn Rimes

I don't need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I've always needed something
But i've got all i want
When it comes to loving you
You're my only reason
You're my only truth

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you

You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds, rage

And it's so amazing
'cause that's just how you are
And i can't turn back now
'cause you've brought me too far