hey hey, I'm back, after 11 months.
I just felt I had something to say out loud, something to...share?
Such as...have you ever wondered if some people in 'the crowd', frequently referred to in the Gospels as the multitudes standing in wide open spaces, following Jesus around, crossing rivers and lakes to catch sight of him, waiting around for bread and fish....had it ever crossed your mind that some of them actually felt insulted when Jesus went away on his own to pray, and said to their friends, "What a selfish man! Only thinking about himself, when so many people are waiting for him"? And the friends would agree...
And then they would turn around and go back to their own, old lives. Could Jesus really have let them go? You mean, he actually put prayer (and time-out) above their salvation, their healing?
This got me thinking (because all along I had thought, believed, there must be some way to keep everyone satisfied) that it's just not possible to split yourself (or your soul, unlike Lord Voldemort) into many many pieces and give everyone something.
I mean, if he did not work that miracle of pleasing the masses, there must be some reason...
Maybe because human need is so varied, and human desire is just insatiable.
And maybe I was looking at it the wrong way all along. It's not that he placed himself (solitude) above others (their healing); in order to place them above himself, he had to give God the highest place, and constantly go back to converse in the silence. Or else Jesus would have burnt out with exhaustion, dissolved in self-pity and cried out in disillusionment.
I sense I'm going through one hell'va lesson.
Amen.
PS Hallo again to whoever is reading this!
