Each person grows up learning how to look out for his or her well-being. Taking care when you cross the road, not talking to strangers, walking in a group at night...translates into 'don't get hurt' which goes beyond the physical level.
So the radical advice of ceasing to look out for yourself and merely focusing on one thing seems a little hard to swallow.
What if you don't see it coming Lord? After all, are you really here with me the whole time? What if you slip up? Aren't four eyes better than two? (assuming God has two!)
Sounds ridiculous that the Lord might make a mistake? I think these are the questions that lead (me) to a reluctance in surrendering.
But I think, feel, believe that surrendering is the best action anyone can do.
“Lord, I need your love in my life. Bind up the wounds in my heart, so that I can show others the way to your glorious kingdom!” (from the Word Among Us website)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
ignorance is (short term) bliss
I'm beginning to feel I only know the tip of the iceberg....about myself.
It's slightly unnerving that a silent retreat can bring to light the little squirrels that gnaw away, small creatures I seldom see or hear in the daily traffic. And when unleashed they suddenly spring up into godzilla-sized thingies that I suddenly can't recognize the person I thought I knew. (I know a friend who hates and is afraid of squirrels, and now I can sympathize with her)
I'm not sure if I'd release them, given a choice to repeat the decision, but if I remember right this is what a Cenacle Sister said:
"It's the things you keep away in the dark that have the ability to control you."
True enough, fear is a controlling factor, and what better description of primal fear is there than the lurking darkness which hides alien creatures out of reach.
I did make a choice to want to know them (squirrels), and now that I do I can either fight or flee. The latter means I repress them once again, numb myself by past routines (it's not that tough to do), and follow pre-set model answers (easy-peasy!).
The former means re-analysing, admitting I've been wrong, re-organising perspectives, bringing barriers down.
WWJD?
argh...!
It's slightly unnerving that a silent retreat can bring to light the little squirrels that gnaw away, small creatures I seldom see or hear in the daily traffic. And when unleashed they suddenly spring up into godzilla-sized thingies that I suddenly can't recognize the person I thought I knew. (I know a friend who hates and is afraid of squirrels, and now I can sympathize with her)
I'm not sure if I'd release them, given a choice to repeat the decision, but if I remember right this is what a Cenacle Sister said:
"It's the things you keep away in the dark that have the ability to control you."
True enough, fear is a controlling factor, and what better description of primal fear is there than the lurking darkness which hides alien creatures out of reach.
I did make a choice to want to know them (squirrels), and now that I do I can either fight or flee. The latter means I repress them once again, numb myself by past routines (it's not that tough to do), and follow pre-set model answers (easy-peasy!).
The former means re-analysing, admitting I've been wrong, re-organising perspectives, bringing barriers down.
WWJD?
argh...!
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