I'm beginning to feel I only know the tip of the iceberg....about myself.
It's slightly unnerving that a silent retreat can bring to light the little squirrels that gnaw away, small creatures I seldom see or hear in the daily traffic. And when unleashed they suddenly spring up into godzilla-sized thingies that I suddenly can't recognize the person I thought I knew. (I know a friend who hates and is afraid of squirrels, and now I can sympathize with her)
I'm not sure if I'd release them, given a choice to repeat the decision, but if I remember right this is what a Cenacle Sister said:
"It's the things you keep away in the dark that have the ability to control you."
True enough, fear is a controlling factor, and what better description of primal fear is there than the lurking darkness which hides alien creatures out of reach.
I did make a choice to want to know them (squirrels), and now that I do I can either fight or flee. The latter means I repress them once again, numb myself by past routines (it's not that tough to do), and follow pre-set model answers (easy-peasy!).
The former means re-analysing, admitting I've been wrong, re-organising perspectives, bringing barriers down.
WWJD?
argh...!
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