Cambridge: by the river
Sunday, October 31, 2004
5 hours
Just back from a Latin All Saints' Day Mass which started at 11am, today the daylight-saving came into effect, had 5.5 hours of sleep, had 5 hours of mad laughter and 'elusive' word puns and just plain sharing. new record!
Random events in a not-so-ramdon life. (well my parents din actually plan to say: lets have Mel on the 16th Feb!, but I sure would like to think I came into this world meeting happy expectations)
Anyway, why, you may ask, am I in a be-nice-to-me-or-I'll-bite mood? Partly cos I've got half an essay more to write up on 'Chaucer and Divine Providence in The Knight's Tale', partly cos I have to go down to practice netball later (not that I don't like it, its just the I've-got-to-get-out-of-the-house-again? syndrome), and mostly cos I'm continuously wishing things will be ok between.
It's just a wish. All things happen for a reason *see, I'm even writing an essay on Divine Providence* and one thing I believe He is teaching me is to trust. In Him. That all things come to those who wait on Him.
One thing I learnt after watching "Princess Diaries 2" yesterday is NOT to believe or fantasize in/about fairy tales. The landing and inevitable 'Welcome back to Earth' is much more painful on the rear that way! I mean, who believes in knowing your Mr/Ms Right when you've barely known the tip of the iceberg of their character? Lofty has asked me before, and my answer is still an adament "No, I don't believe in love at first sight".
oh, kim, I havn't laughed like that in ages. well, the only exceptions probably being watching "White Chicks" and "Shark Tale" and "Bride and Prejudice" and "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow". even then u beat them flat. sigh told u I spend too much for too little over here: that's 4 x 5 pounds!
see see see: Shi Hui and I went Cambridge last week. And I coincidentally, accidentally, suddenly bumped into Weiwen! who's taking engine there starting this year....he showed us round his campus, Queens' College.
Ok, back to Divine Providence, Palomon, Arcite and Theseus, Venus, Mars, and Jupitar, Boethius and Aristotle.....the real question is, did God plan that I stop right here or is it Free Will that I possess? tune in to De Consolatione Philosophaie to find out....
Random events in a not-so-ramdon life. (well my parents din actually plan to say: lets have Mel on the 16th Feb!, but I sure would like to think I came into this world meeting happy expectations)
Anyway, why, you may ask, am I in a be-nice-to-me-or-I'll-bite mood? Partly cos I've got half an essay more to write up on 'Chaucer and Divine Providence in The Knight's Tale', partly cos I have to go down to practice netball later (not that I don't like it, its just the I've-got-to-get-out-of-the-house-again? syndrome), and mostly cos I'm continuously wishing things will be ok between.
It's just a wish. All things happen for a reason *see, I'm even writing an essay on Divine Providence* and one thing I believe He is teaching me is to trust. In Him. That all things come to those who wait on Him.
One thing I learnt after watching "Princess Diaries 2" yesterday is NOT to believe or fantasize in/about fairy tales. The landing and inevitable 'Welcome back to Earth' is much more painful on the rear that way! I mean, who believes in knowing your Mr/Ms Right when you've barely known the tip of the iceberg of their character? Lofty has asked me before, and my answer is still an adament "No, I don't believe in love at first sight".
oh, kim, I havn't laughed like that in ages. well, the only exceptions probably being watching "White Chicks" and "Shark Tale" and "Bride and Prejudice" and "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow". even then u beat them flat. sigh told u I spend too much for too little over here: that's 4 x 5 pounds!
see see see: Shi Hui and I went Cambridge last week. And I coincidentally, accidentally, suddenly bumped into Weiwen! who's taking engine there starting this year....he showed us round his campus, Queens' College.
Ok, back to Divine Providence, Palomon, Arcite and Theseus, Venus, Mars, and Jupitar, Boethius and Aristotle.....the real question is, did God plan that I stop right here or is it Free Will that I possess? tune in to De Consolatione Philosophaie to find out....
Friday, October 29, 2004
Always...
Forgiveness is a continuous process. Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go, not of the memory, but of the pain that comes with remembrance. Who else can make it possible but God? Everything in our human nature shouts to seek compensation for the hurt caused, an explanation for the wrong done, even revenge. But when we realize what the real goal is, there is peace within which the world cannot give.
Monday, October 25, 2004
She will..
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Alone but never lonely....
Inward self-reflection with God's guidence (meaning u dun go off-tangent thinking terrible or unhealthy thoughts, nor fantasize or scheme) is good. It leads to self-knowledge, an important key, so have said St Teresa of Avila (The Interior Castle), Daniel Goleman(Emotional Intelligence) and The Oracle at Delphi. The stairway inward (I wonder how such a stairway would look like) is, possibly (since i'm not expert), through prayer. And then, in coming to terms with your emotions, good or evil, there is
Peace.
Joy.
Love.
Lord, help me remain in You.
Peace.
Joy.
Love.
Lord, help me remain in You.
Friday, October 15, 2004
so many deaths in this world
so many deaths in this world; you begin to wonder if its inevitable.
Inevitably, the answer is yes.
Of people you knew, through a friend, someone on the news, or someone whom you love. or used to, then. since they're gone.
Lord I only pray for hope, to continue to believe. In what? In the continuous power of Your grace, that You will heal the wounds. In the eternity of Your love, that it superceeds everything else. In the strength You had to bear the cross.
Down, but never broken. should we even be 'down'? what then is the peace that the world cannot give, nor take away? where then is the immeasurable happiness; only found in heaven? No, a piece of it is here, tho not the whole, for the world is not perfect. And it can be found within, not without. Not without grief, sadness over a betrayal, pity of another, helplessness of it all. But within the heart that continues to go on, in spite of it all. That's how we flex our muscles of the heart (or rather the heart, a muscle).
Inevitably, the answer is yes.
Of people you knew, through a friend, someone on the news, or someone whom you love. or used to, then. since they're gone.
Lord I only pray for hope, to continue to believe. In what? In the continuous power of Your grace, that You will heal the wounds. In the eternity of Your love, that it superceeds everything else. In the strength You had to bear the cross.
Down, but never broken. should we even be 'down'? what then is the peace that the world cannot give, nor take away? where then is the immeasurable happiness; only found in heaven? No, a piece of it is here, tho not the whole, for the world is not perfect. And it can be found within, not without. Not without grief, sadness over a betrayal, pity of another, helplessness of it all. But within the heart that continues to go on, in spite of it all. That's how we flex our muscles of the heart (or rather the heart, a muscle).
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
"i want to make u feel beautiful..."
Funny how a phone call back to Singapore can change my mood. To lift my spirits, to believe once again in hope. 2 calls, and a frenster msg, tat's what made me smile today, 1 meeting in Snappers, and my whole day turns grey. Make tat dark. I guess tat's what happens when one puts too many eggs into A basket. Not a prudent decision. Thank God for Shi Hui!
I attended the Leicester Uni Chorale singing practice held at Fraser Noble Blg today, with Jon Fok and Gerrie. It was great! back once again singing, part of a voice, a melody, an inspiration. I feel so uplifted when I remember my passions, and lean not on human dependencies. Round your mouth, use your diaphram, mind your f and p. Then mozart's reqeuim mass forms in chorus and the hall fills with gusto, emotion, and echos.
I attended the Leicester Uni Chorale singing practice held at Fraser Noble Blg today, with Jon Fok and Gerrie. It was great! back once again singing, part of a voice, a melody, an inspiration. I feel so uplifted when I remember my passions, and lean not on human dependencies. Round your mouth, use your diaphram, mind your f and p. Then mozart's reqeuim mass forms in chorus and the hall fills with gusto, emotion, and echos.
The Death of a Friend
O how we used to laugh
At the silliest things
Roaring brawls and gleeful mirth
Over coffee, mistakes and flings
O how we always shared
The spoils of food and daily battle
The spoilt expectations and pains
That turn us to mettle
Do you see me from above?
Opposite an empty chair, looking out
Using other worlds of black-white
To build my paper-mache, hollow, without
But the sun's out now
The cruel glare hitting home
And I see the distance between
You across the room, unknown.
written 4 Oct 2004
O how we used to laugh
At the silliest things
Roaring brawls and gleeful mirth
Over coffee, mistakes and flings
O how we always shared
The spoils of food and daily battle
The spoilt expectations and pains
That turn us to mettle
Do you see me from above?
Opposite an empty chair, looking out
Using other worlds of black-white
To build my paper-mache, hollow, without
But the sun's out now
The cruel glare hitting home
And I see the distance between
You across the room, unknown.
written 4 Oct 2004
Friday, October 01, 2004
I will remember days in avalon...
Alone. Does everyone feel tat? Are they feeling it now? Or is it jus the rise and fall of melancholy? A fren asked this question in her blog: what is a friend? Is it someone whom u say 'hi' to? Someone before whom you wear this smiling mask? Someone whom U find it easy to tell your day's details to? Someone who listens well? Someone who wants to be with you? Someone who knows your faults and failures? Someone who loves you for it? I'm so scared to let anyone in.
*knock knock*
Do I choose the people? Or do they choose me? Or does God choose for me?
*knock knock*
*knock knock*
Do I choose the people? Or do they choose me? Or does God choose for me?
*knock knock*
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