paddle paddle paddle *breathe*
tiring work to heave and heave
ongoing without leave
or is it just a brief?

perhaps I have imagined it so
that it truly is not so low
yet still searching for the flow
so that I can start, run, go!

like a blu-tac pulled to the thin
I need to find myself within
"no one can walk you through that door"
or so Neo was told before the score

wishing cannot conjure success
only willing (not mine) will see it blessed
a plea: will you pray for me?
I need strength and peace to see

please?
=)
I feel trapped in my room, and though I have anywhere I could go right now, outside to the garden, a bus to town, a plane to Germany or China, I force myself to sit at my desk and read the notes I have compiled. No great ideas, no new and groundbreaking thoughts, so no words. Funny, one would think that with the lack of (apparent) responsibility except for studies the freedom would be exhilarating, but I think if this was taken away from me, my essay-writing, I would fall even more gravely ill and limp. There are things I can do still, yet I have this feeling that I'm learning the un-static characteristic of happiness. What is man without a goal? Man with God, whether he knows it or not. For goals come and go, they are achieved or elude you, and then what?